Episode 108: Dealing with Grief for You & Your Patients with Dr. Marcy Larson

What does it mean to feel grief? Is it sadness? Anger? Resignation? Unfortunately, life will almost certainly present you with grief at some point. Where there is love there will also be grief when the love is lost. It might come unexpectedly or slowly over years. But always, grief is a human emotional state that we will all have to struggle with before our life is over.

As a physician, one treats not only physical illness but also mental anguish. We see people at their worst and lowest points when they are scared, angry, and anxious about the future. To meet them in their place with empathy is difficult and it is important to know how to deal with them  Additionally, it is important to know how to support your colleagues, friends, and family if they are suffering too.

What Can You Do to Help Those in Grief?

The most important thing one can do is to recognize that someone is suffering and don't feel like you are obligated to make them feel better. It is almost certain that you can't make the pain go away. One liners about suffering being eased by the loved one probably won't help either. The best thing to do is acknowledge the loss and say, "I have no words for your loss."

Just as important is to mention the name of the lost loved one. Even if it seems to bring a tear don't feel as if you have done anything wrong. From there, see what the patient or friend wants to do. If they want to talk follow their lead, if they speak about something else be comfortable that that is ok too.

It is critical that physicians don't lose their humanity. It is a good thing to feel pain and sadness along with our patients so long as we are not the ones who need comforting from the patient. Walking with someone on their journey even for a few minutes - will be appreciated by the person in grief.